the grief in forgiving...

When anger swells within our hearts, it rocks the oceans like a tidal wave. These inner storms can shatter the peace and tranquility in us faster than we could build them. One of the toughest but most effective ways to deal with anger and frustration, is to forgive its cause.

But is forgiving forgetting? Far from it. It is much easier to forget than it is to forgive. Forgetting is an act of losing, while forgiving is an act of releasing. See the difference in the two? Some of us may not see it, but hopefully you would see it. Though subtle, the difference between the two is oceans apart.

When one forgives another, he is putting aside all anger and frustration in an attempt to make peace with another. But that doesn't mean he forgets what's been done to him. If it was that easy, then the act of forgiving would be of little value. It would be nothing more than just forgetting the whole incident as if it had never happened before.

What's so bad about that? Some of you may ask. Well, for one thing, it did happen. And one can never gain anything if one doesn't remember anything. All sins we commit and all mistakes we make are meant to be remembered as lessons for our future. That's what's wrong with forgetting.

To remember the mistake, to forgive for that mistake and to live on remembering it without resentment. That is forgiveness. Yes. It is a painful thing. And the pain lies not on the part of the sinner. Rather mainly on the part of the forgiver. It takes a strong mind and a kind heart to forgive. Forgiving, is a sacrifice. And sacrifices are not made so that their reasons be forgotten once the sacrifice is done. Remember it. Bury not the hatchet that has chopped the tree. Remember it. Leave it upon the ground as testament of the past and as a reminder for the future.

And besides, can you forget? After being hurt, can you truly utterly forget it? I'd guess not. You will never forget. It may appear that it would be easier to forget than to forgive. But really, it is better to forgive than to forget.