A step over simply existing....

Soul. An abstract notion of an invisible, intangible force that permeates every living being on earth. Be it human, plant or animal. An essence that gives life to a body of matter. Soul is life. Soul is wisdom. Soul is what makes us who we are.

It is the building block that sepparrates us from objects. It is an escalation from a state of simply existing to a state of being. Along with the gift of choice and power that accompanies it, we've become the stewards of the land. The consciousness that not only governs the paths of our lives, but also the direction in which the rest of the world moves.

We have been empowered by the gift of choice. And we have been gifted with the ability to identify with causes and effects, reasoning. Endowed with the capability to make our own choices, we swathe a path through the world and society. Each step we take brings us a step higher towards being an entity of profound wisdom and complex judgement. Each decision we make builds a character with a unique sense of being and thought. As the days pass by, and experiences decorate the calenders of our lives, our soul grows and nurtures itself. Like a seed, growing to a tree that reaches ever skywards. Yearning for the light of the sun that leads it on to a path of clarity and happiness. A path of growth.

But, it is clear that we are not the only beings with soul. For within animals, we can see life. We've seen how they interact and think. How they reason and rationalize. Yet, unlike us, they seem simple minded. Incapable of profound thoughts and complicated notions and feelings. They have been entitled to a lower level of being. A simpler form, with simpler tasks. For they live, to live. And they die willingly.

Yet, when we look closely at animals, another question comes up to mind. How exactly are we better than them? They are there to be guided by us. They are there for us to manipulate. They are there to aid us. Tools to help us survive in a world of matter. For we do not belong here. Our soul. It is not a part of this realm. It is a stranger. A lego piece of a different color. It is...Different. And these animals, these lower beings. They are here as stepping stones. They are like measures. For we live in a world of relativity. In our world. The only way to measure, is to have something to compare to. And the animals, they are something to compare to. Their soul is something to compare to ours. To show just how much we have escalated. How high we've come. Yet at the same time, how low we really are.

Yes. Soul. That is who we are. That is what we are. Soul. Emotions. Thoughts. Sorrow. Joy. Pain. Life. Rise. Rise up and look. For soul has been given to us. We, are truly gifted. For unlike animals, we could rise. We could grow. Unlike plants, we could move. We could talk. Unlike angels, we have choice. Unlike the devil, we have conscience. We, are different. We are like all of them, and yet, different from them. We have human souls.

Look up. For He does wait for us above. He has planted us here to grow. To nurture us. To teach us to look. To teach our soul the meaning of choice, beauty, pain. He brought life to us, to give light to all things we see. And He brought death to us that we may learn what it means to be free. Look up to God. Our soul is but a tiny reflection of the beauty that is Him. A vague picture of what He is. Pray to him. To Him do we strive towards. To Him is where we'll return, as nurtured souls.

colors of our world...

The colors of the world. Red, green, blue, white, black, and many colors in between. But who or what puts them in our lives? Is it the people around us? Or events transpiring within our lives? What gives color to our life?

Let's pause and take a look around us. What is it that brings the want for life back into our hearts? What are the things that tie themselves so closely to our emotions? Is it family? Or friends? Or perhaps it's the activities and things that we hold most dear to us? Money? Jewelery? Food? Think hard and long. Have you gotten any answers to the questions? Make sure that you've figured this out clearly before moving on.

Now, take your answers, and analyze them. Look at them closely. How is it that these people have found a way to establish a foothold within our hearts? How have we gotten addicted to these activities that bring life into our world? Once the underlying reason has been found, you've just gotten a step closer to discovering what it is that gives color to our world.

Now, present that reason out loud. Announce to yourself exactly why you love the things you love so much. This should help you realise one very important thing. That after you scrape off all the different layers of complexity of our thoughts, it all boils down to us. Only we could make ourselves enjoy something. Only we could make ourselves despise something. People and objects may paint colors onto the canvas of our world, but only we could shed the light that gives the objects colors.

ode to the dead

earth trembles
oceans split in terrible anger
deaths in the masses
a thousand heads lost in the waters


thrice a quake
thrice a shake
plates a sunder
heaving and sieving souls away


wrath of the heavens brought down to earth
tears rippling in the waves of sadness
Loved ones and hated lost in the floods
pulled away in the rising tides


death now hangs upon a heavy toll
ardent fury in tall waves cold
innocents taken from our plane and time
to return to an existence out of time


back to the One
returning to the Creator
be it in good faith
be it in torturous pain


return do thousands back to His realm
back to the earth
back to the grave
back to the grave


silence filled with mud
liquid air flooded in blood
breathing soil up to the lungs
swallowing it all


silence
blackness
tears
death

ghosts

Ever the realm of the unseen tickles us and sends shivers down our spine. Some of us ignore it, while others cringe in fear as soon as it comes touching them lightly upon their back. Some disbelieve in the hidden and otherworldly, while others seek it with genuine zest.

We've all had that sinking feeling before. As if we're being watched. As if something is stalking us from behind. And when we turn to look at it, we see nothing there. Why do we feel so? Where does this insecurity come from?

Most of us just dismiss it for our imagination. We're just nervous and we picture these things in our heads. Sounds rational. But has the thought ever occured to you, that perhaps these feelings are more than just a figment of your imagination? That perhaps, there is something there? Yeah. It's when that happens, that you find yourself cringing in fear and disgust. Why do we react such to these emotions?

This irrational fear of the unknown. This imprinted fear that's been branded upon us by tradition and society. It leaves us helpless in the face of spiritual entities as well as the forces of unlife. Upon seeing something we've learnt to identify with the dead, we stop on our tracks and find ourselves cowering in terror. So strong is their hold upon our fear that there's naught we could do to save ourselves from them. Boy they must be having fun looking at us running from them like mice.

Yet, even with all that power within them. They hide from us. Only occasionally do they appear vaguely within our perceptions, just teasing us and leaving us stunned by their magic acts. The occasional smoky image, and the beautiful womanly figure with the long black hair. As quickly they appeared, so they fade away.

People have learnt to associate these figures with spirits that have unfinished business. Ghosts tied to thise plane by strong ties or emotions that they have yet to overcome. Is that the case? Or are they something more? We can't really tell, considering the fact that they're far too difficult to catch and interview.

Be that as it may, we've all heard of stories, some of us have seen or felt it. Is it all real?

Death

Behold, the death of a star. Beauty at the end of life. An eye looking down upon us from the heavens. In death, is born life anew. Creation at the hands of destruction. None could portray this cycle of life, better than a star.

We've all seen death and destruction at work. Some of us seen more than others. But how many among us has seen life at work? It's no more ugly nor beautiful than death. Life, brings about suffering which death puts an end to. As it also brings joy, which death puts an end to. Death, is the eye opener. The cause that awakens the sleeping mind and soul. And one day, it will happen to us. For one day, we will become like the stars above.

the essence of time

Time. The essence that has formed the basis of all our calculations and sciences. But it's far from being the most basic building block of all things in the universe. Rather, it is one of the many complex creations that the Almighty has created for our benefit. What is time?

Time, is motion. It is calculated by studying motion. And it is used to calculate motion. Easy to understand? Perhaps not. I'll explain more clearly then. Time, is calculated by the "movement" of the sun upon its daily cycles round the earth. This movement, takes the form of a day. And its division that of hours and seconds. The slow transferring of sand within an hourglass is the equivalent of time's passage. This method of calculating time is then used to calculate the speed of other moving objects that we see. The difference between the two motions basically represented as speed. Oh what a tangled world we live in.

Now that we have a deeper understanding of time. I wish to get to the real reason for this entry. Time, next to light is probably one of the simplest and yet most complex creation of God. Simplest as it's made only of the most basic building block of all things, yet complex due to the very same fact that it's made of this. Yes, this seems to make very little sense. But you'll see what I mean with time(don't mind the pun).

Motion, is the universe. It is within the vibrating atoms, the speeding energy that we so fondly call light, and even within the tiny electrons that spin around neuclei of atoms. It is everywhere. When The Great Creator made the universe. He formed it by slowing down motion. Matter is made of motion slowed down so much so that it changes from an invisible essence to something that we can touch and feel. It gathers together into masses of particles which we call matter. It is like when drops of water splash off the main body of the river onto the ground. The tend to form puddles and move towards each other. They have slowed down so much that they appear distant and apart from the river itself. And they take on a more stable and permanent form. A puddle. Such is the case for time. When bubbles of motion form within the reality that God Almighty has created for us, they gather together and form small pocket realms. I'd like to see them as planets like our "Earth". Heavenly bodies that move at their own pace and time, being close to stagnation and sepparate from the rest of the river.

This is all a lot to digest. Take a breather before continuing on. Because here, things get a bit wonky.

We've understood that time, is a measurement of motion. Thus, without motion, there can be no time. Correct? Wrong. Without motion, time would probably become its greatest. Without motion, time would then become eternity.

Why you may ask. The reason is this. Motion is a very relative force. In order for something to be in motion, it has to be relative to something else. There has to be an object or point of referrence. Thus, time too is relative. Take a moving object and move it. As it moves, time too moves with it. Following it at a set pace. Something we call speed. But staunch its movement. What happens then? How will this affect time relative to the object? Still can't figure it out?

Here's another hint. Have you ever had this feeling like time's slowing to a direct crawl? When do you find that happening? For the sake of those of you who still can't figure it out, ask me some other time when you're free.

Getting back to it. Without movement, time becomes something without a beginning, or an end. It becomes eternity. So in fact, it is a manifestation, or essence of God Almighty. Yes my friends. He is everywhere around us. Seeing and hearing everything we say and do. And He is invisible. For one of the many ways he presents himself, is in th form of Time. He records everything we do. He watches over us. He flows through us, within us.

Thus is he All Seeing and All Hearing. Such is the greatness of The Almighty and The Eternal. Praise be to him for His power and greatness.

tomorrow...

Swimming in a watery green
Free yet tied by invisible strings
Lost and drowning in a sea of sorrow
My punishment meted out in the form of tomorrow

Each day's passing in a crawl
Changing in time, yet changing naught
The horror of having to live in time
When my heart is timeless in its mind

Alone yet not
Crowded yet empty
Uneasiness reigns
It drives me afrenzy

Broken and bent
Twisted and bruised
Mistaken, misunderstood
Unendingly misused

The knowledge within sends me areeling
Knowing what needs to be done
For temptations reign with beauty divine
Luring away from what needs to be done

How do i fight?
How do i win?
When my heart wishes neither
While my soul wishes both

I'm torn, ripped apart
Caught in a web of despair and disheart Wishing i was dead and saved myself From the pain of tomorrow, that threatens to reveal itself

But no. death does not come
It's not my time.
I have to wait, i have to suffer
These feelings repressed deep down under

Patience, tolerance, joy faked at my whim
Shelter i make from thoughts and dreams
But even in dreams the pain does seep through
For nightmares do come ever day or two

Ignore them. that's what i do
No pain's too much for me to get through
Let's look on to the bright side of life
I'll always have tomorrrow, isn't that right?

the grief in forgiving...

When anger swells within our hearts, it rocks the oceans like a tidal wave. These inner storms can shatter the peace and tranquility in us faster than we could build them. One of the toughest but most effective ways to deal with anger and frustration, is to forgive its cause.

But is forgiving forgetting? Far from it. It is much easier to forget than it is to forgive. Forgetting is an act of losing, while forgiving is an act of releasing. See the difference in the two? Some of us may not see it, but hopefully you would see it. Though subtle, the difference between the two is oceans apart.

When one forgives another, he is putting aside all anger and frustration in an attempt to make peace with another. But that doesn't mean he forgets what's been done to him. If it was that easy, then the act of forgiving would be of little value. It would be nothing more than just forgetting the whole incident as if it had never happened before.

What's so bad about that? Some of you may ask. Well, for one thing, it did happen. And one can never gain anything if one doesn't remember anything. All sins we commit and all mistakes we make are meant to be remembered as lessons for our future. That's what's wrong with forgetting.

To remember the mistake, to forgive for that mistake and to live on remembering it without resentment. That is forgiveness. Yes. It is a painful thing. And the pain lies not on the part of the sinner. Rather mainly on the part of the forgiver. It takes a strong mind and a kind heart to forgive. Forgiving, is a sacrifice. And sacrifices are not made so that their reasons be forgotten once the sacrifice is done. Remember it. Bury not the hatchet that has chopped the tree. Remember it. Leave it upon the ground as testament of the past and as a reminder for the future.

And besides, can you forget? After being hurt, can you truly utterly forget it? I'd guess not. You will never forget. It may appear that it would be easier to forget than to forgive. But really, it is better to forgive than to forget.

wisest is the fool who knows

Wisest is the fool who knows. Don't know where this came from, but it was the first conscious thought that came to my head in the shower. What brought about this thought? I don't know. But what I mean by it, I do know.

Let's break down the sentence to truly understand what it means. Take some time and think. When I say wise, what's the first thing that comes to your mind? Probably an elderly figure, of some sort. Right? Or an angelic or long lived race that's spent millenia on contemplation and learning. Well, that's what I've heard from some of my friends and cousins. But let's get to the point. Wise, in this sense means having wisdom. Being capable of judgement. Having the ability to discern inner qualities and relationships. Now take a breather and let it sink in. It's important that you understand this.

Next we'll talk about the word fool. A fool is one lacking in the ability to understand even the most simplest of terms. One who is incapable of the most basic of judgements and decisions.Yes. Contradictory isn't it? How could a fool(one who is incapable of understanding complex factors) be wise at the same time? The answer, is pretty simple. But I'll get back to that later.

Knowing. That's the next thing that I want to talk about. To know. What is to know? To know, is to have a direct understanding of something. To be capable of direct cognition of a subject. Pretty simple right? Wrong. How is one supposed to be sure as to whether or not what he knows is real? For reality is pretty warped. One's knowledge of something may be far too different in comparison to another person's due to different degrees of perceptions as well as level of understanding. And knowledge is not something we can gain through simple learning or "absorbing" process. It is more of an "unlocking" process. Knowledge is something that is always locked and stored within our minds, awating the day they be unlocked through interaction with the outside world and the turning of the right key combinations to unlock it. Got it? If not, relax. Take your time to digest it.

Moving on. How is a fool wise? Simplicity. His wisdom lies in his simplicity. Imagine ourselves as a piece of paper. Lines and colours written on a sheet of clean paper can be more easily defined than from one that's been constantly written upon. This makes for an easy way of judging and seeing with perfect clarity the nature of the line. Thus is the fool capable of making the wisest of decisions. He has within him neither the intelligence for complex judgement nor twisted routes. He makes decisions with simple and straight forward goals. No beatin around the bush, no complex maths. Just clear simple solutions that serve their purposes. Their purpose is stated clearly; their actions stand out boldly, unhampered by other manipulations and unhindered by other voices of reason. But the fool is also the one incapable of proper judgement you say? That, I say, is why he is the wisest. For he does not make unnecessary judgement.

Human judgement clouds the mind. Our thoughts are so cluttered with ideas that we've lost track of the center of balance that we had been brought up with. Our scales of morality have tilted, one way or the other. Each of us has a different view on what could be the most similar of transaction or occurence. But the innocense of the fool would present him with the clearest and wisest decision of all. One that's been made with ernest wisdom.

Ernest wisdom. What is it? It's true understanding. True understanding does not base itself upon numbers or terms. It is what some could term "gut feeling". It's the in built scale given to us upon our birth. The tool of God. The gift of the heart. Only one too foolish to understand would be stupid enough to rely on his guts alone in a world littered with the "wise". Thus is the wisdom of the fool.

Misunderstanding...

Misunderstandings often occur amongst us. It's only human to misinterpret what's been communicated to us. There are many a times when we try to say something, but it gets read as something else. I'm sure all of you out there have had such experiences at least once in a while. It's inevitable.

Our methods of communications are far from perfect. We transmit perhaps less than a quarter of what we actually intend to communicate over to the receiver. The rest of it, is up to the intepretation of the person listening to us. Thus, it makes things so much easier to be misintepreted by a person who assumes things to be differently from the source of the information.

Now, this being the case, put in the factor of entropy. What are the chances that that other person thinks totally on the same line as you? About a billion to one if you ask me. You may both see things on vaguely the same par, but there's always that minute difference in both your fields of vision.This, is the first factor that refracts and twists the information that is being communicated between two people.

Next comes the second factor in the prism of distortion of truth. Only a minute percentage of what we communicate is through word of mouth. The rest of it is absorbed through our body language and such. How do we know that our body is saying the same thing our mouth is? Because if it doesn't, then there's going to be a lot of confusion between what's being communicated by the mouth and body.

Confusion and misconception go hand in hand. They can be the cause for so many problems within our lives. Misunderstandings between friends and lovers lead to broken relationships. Unchecked body language can lead to fights. Much of the unexpected could be caused by a lack of communication on the parts of both the giver and receiver.

So how do we avoid making these mistakes? Answer's pretty obvious. First of all, Listen. The more listen, the more you can catch. Secondly, avoid assumptions. Once you assume, you become as narrow minded as a fanatic. Funneling out all other options and focusing on one. This limits and filters the converstaion so much so that you only hear what you wish to hear. That, my friend, is not communication. It's far from it. Keeping the conversation nice and slow will give you a greater chance of catching a greater gist of what's being told to you. Only in silence can you hear the most subtle of sounds. And last of all, if you're not sure or you don't understand, ask. Even if you have to ask a billion times, ask. This keeps confusion from reigning over the conversation and thus keep misunderstandings to a bare minimum.

So, slow down. Listen. There's a lot for us to hear. It might just save us a lot of trouble.

the reverberating echoes of the music of life...

Sadness. Is it truly necessary? Do we really need to suffer unnecessarily? Is life necessarily a journey full of pot-holes and hills? Each one different. Each a test of its own. So do we need it?

What about joy? Do we need elation to complete our world? Or is it just a drug? Is it possible for a world to exist with the absence of joy and the zest for life? If it is then it's difficult for me to picture it.

Anger. Now this, is an interesting emotion. It is the ultimate emotion for drive. It is a powerful feeling that could be harnessed for both good and evil. It gets things done. By hook or by crook, it will get things done. Now, imagine a man who is void of this emotion. Picture how peaceful he is. And ironically, how inhuman he would become.

Next, is greed. The wanting and lusting for more that you could possibly need. How is it that we could have such emotions in our heart? How does it find a way around into our minds and lure us into its trap? Truly this is a dangerous object of the heart.

Generosity. This is truly a soft-spoken, saintly trait that could probably save the world. Few among us could possibly boast of this. But those who could boast of it, never do. Many among us are tainited by the curse of selfishness that sneaks into all our hearts.For even in acts of seeming generosity, there may be hints of self-preservation behind it.

Selfishness. Or self-love, as some would call it. It is evident in everything we say or do. Always do we strive to achieve that which we feel is best for us. Sometimes, we keep more than we need.And at the expense of others. But then again, without self-love, one would slowly inch towards self-destruction.

These are but some of the emotions that more often than not appear in our lives during different times of the day. A constant wave of motion rippling through our daily proceedings. A disharmony thate shakes the chords of our souls like the strings of a guitar. Thus is the music of our lives.

Help...

Dire is the hunger in my heart;
A searching, a seeking;
for that essential drug.

tortured and bruised from an endless ruse;
caged in a mask;
singing a lonely opera.

Be there a poison to kill this pain?
To sever these ties;
that keep me strained;

It seeps deep into my soul;
It douses my fire;
It turns me cold.

It reverberates through my veins;
throbbing dully;
again and again.

Where do I seek? How do I search?
Where is the medicine;
for this high fever.

Everywhere I turn, everwhere I see;
I see darkness looking back at me;
emptiness grinning.

I shout, I scream;
Prayers I send;
Please set me free.

none watches, none listens;
So I';m here alone in the void.
Help....

the world of dreams...

dreams. I have a few.

Some of them seem totally impossible; others are achievable. Some, surreal, others down to earth. We all have dreams.

For it is dreams that push us forward. The drive that fuels us onwards. But to what end? Each dream is a stepping stone. A foothold upon a cliff, leading towards impossible heights. As one dream is fulfilled, another takes it place. A constant ladder up to the sky.

In a way, our dreams are never meant to be fulfilled. For once your dreams are all turned into reality, then what is there for you to live for?

Life; Reality,is based upon strife and struggle. Heavy strides towards a castle in the clouds. But once the castle is brought down to earth, it becomes naught more than just another home. Slowly it will lose its lustre and become a part of the reality that is our life. For reality, has this odd ability to warp the wishes and dreams of people.

dreams, are bestowed with the gift of perfection; While reality, is a butterknife that smears that perfection, thus adding to it an odd beauty hidden beneath a blur of sadness and tardiness.

So my friend, when you have a dream,keep it there. A reminder of how perfect life could be. And whenever you find yourself in sadness and tears, look to your dream.

And then think...Oh how empty the life of a dream truly is. To be routine.To go through an endless elation and happiness without the feeling of being downtrodden or broken. Being a grapefruit suspended in life for an eternity. No grape could taste sweeter than the wine that comes from its destruction. No true loveliness could be created without the temporary appearance of ugliness .No swan could grow but from an ugly duckling.

So hold on to your dream. Hold on to it with a new light....

jealousy....popping its green eye for everyone to see

It's a dark green monster that hides under the bed of our thoughts. Occasionally, it pops up to say a hello and cause a little chaos, sending our lives spiralling into a whirling tornado of love and hate.

The ironic thing about jealousy, is that it couldn't exist unless one had a tremendous love for something. You could say it's the dark side of love.it's when one becomes selfish; When one is unwilling to share one's prized posession with anyone else. When the sufferer decides that nobody else shall have his prized object,be it a person, or an item.

Ironic is it not? That such a dark, ugly emotion could be a direct spawn of love. heh...whoever said love was a beautiful thing, had never seen jealousy at work. We all get jealous every once in awhile. Sometimes it comes out a little mischievious imp playing its cards and poking at your nerves.Others, it's a raging inferno of hatred that burns brighter than the sun. And burn it does,from inside out.Leaving us an empty shell. And as it continues outwards like wildfire, it may end up burning our loved ones too.

So, is there a way to control this feeling? Or if possible, exterminate it entirely from our system? Perhaps there is.

But the question now is, should we rid ourselves of this seemingly ugly emotion?Or perhaps there is a reason why it's been planted into us so deeply.A feeling firmly rooted within us: jealousy is a form of defensive wall, built up around ourselves and our treasures. A greediness that overcomes us as we attempt to keep the connection between us and our loved posessions close, to preserve the bonds and ties between us.

In a matter of speaking, it's a good thing.That is of course, if we could control it.

Jealousy, is like a double edged knife. It cuts both ways. But in the hands of an efficient cook, it could whip up the loveliest of dishes and carve wonderful works of art.

So,when the little green imp pops into your head, be careful. Keep your cool. Don't lose control. Treate it like you would an innocent child. Sometimes it wants the most practical of things, but you would have to be the one to think of the consequences of your actions upon following it; as well as the good and bad of what you're about to do. Jealousy is such an amazing feeling. It can be a powerful agent for revitalising love....or a poison that could swiftly end it....so my friends.If you meet the not so jolly green giant...

Think...

the light....

Day in day out,the sun rises and sets. Our world mirrors the bright orange ball, glowing and slowly fading into darkness in an everlasting circle of highs and lows.

Light is everywhere to be seen. And even in the brightness, we find ourselves lost.

How could this be possible? Are we blinded by the bright world and its richness?Has the full array left our minds boggled and frayed? Are we too tired of accepting that we choose to block out what awaits us out there?

This question's been bugging me throughout the day. It's all about choice. Man was given the freedom of choice. A freedom that is itself caged within rules and regulations of how that choice is made(in other words, we don't have much of a choice as to what we can or cannot choose.)And these rules, be it those made by men or by God, govern the way we live and think. Some of us make an attempt at being radical by breaking these rules. But at what expense? Who knows. But the thing that's bugging me is not the breaking of these, but rather the hinting to which choice is "right" and which is "wrong". the Almighty has dropped lots of hints by which we are to see his greatness.

In the air,the land, the sea. Everywhere we look, if we look close enough, we'd be able to see silent testiments to His greatness. within our hands, our actions;within our hearts.

Constantly does He coax us to amend our ways and return to His path of goodness. And yet, we still find ourselves lost. How is this so? How have we gotten ourselves lost within the light that floats above our paths? It's like getting ourselves confused within a room flooded with lights. A room that is so bright that we couldn't possibly see or find our way out of it.God has shown us the way time and again. With each passing day, he drops hints around us. In the trees, the wind; the silence of the night decorated with the chirping of the crickets. All of them, testiment to His power.

If we only look closely enough and ponder over it for a short time. We might see the light;the light that is all around us. It is within us. Deep in our hearts echoes his words;his song.

And yet,we are lost. Lost in the light that paves our way.

enlightenment...what is it?

enlightenment comes only with thought.And learning only comes by choice.That's a rule set upon us since the beginning of time.And till the end will it stick by us, following us through day in day out.

With each choice we make, with each step that we take, a new secret is unlocked. Knowledge unfurled upon us in a blanket of amazement and wonder. And yet what humanity has learnt,is but a tiny fraction of what's out there waiting for us:a small seed amongst a mountain of seeds; And it appears that the more we learn,the less we seem to know.

With wisdom comes the realisation of just how unwise we truly are. How powerless we really are in this world. And the thought of that, just leaves me humbled. Even the wisest of the wisest men in the world would agree to that.

We living here in this universe have very little to flaunt and throw around. Material wealth, though seemingly of great value to us now,is nothing more than sand upon the sea-shore:easily obtained and just as easily lost.A common commodity. But knowledge, enlightenment and wisdom. These things will last till the end of time.And the more we share it,the more we gain from it.It's a treasure worth guarding and keeping safe for the rest of our lives.

with enlightenment there comes a feeling of satisfaction and peace that few other worldly pleasures could possibly stand up to.And yet,most of us fail to see it....we're too obsessed with our worldly material needs that we fail to identify the truth of why we feel so. The real culprit of this illusion.How many of us can proudly announce to the world that we've solved the riddle of life?

Few.

Fewer still are those who could rightly say, "I've figured out everything." In fact,none could.We've learnt much about stars, moons and planets as well as other heavenly bodies. Yet we don't even know what's happening to us right now.

With all our self-made rules and situations, we SEEM to know a lot. But the fact of it is we know nothing more than just numbers and a series of causes and effects. And it all points out to one thing.

Nothing.

All we've done is stick to a set of rules that supposedly help us organise and give more meaning to our lives.We've identified one set of repititive situations after another. Managing to figure out only so much of the riddle of the universe;leaving much else to explore.As we continue on to learn;to pick up the pieces of jigsaw left upon us by the Almighty, we continue to be humbled by his greatness. So thus he encourage us to live our lives. To learn and search for the truth that he's left everywhere for us to discover.The beauty that he's hidden for us to seek. And as we look around us; as we truly LOOK around us, we would find it. The beauty that only knowledge could bestow upon the things.

What people would call "enlightenment"

feel it....

feast it is for the eyes to see
elegance wreathed in darkness' weave
ambling out of a deep blue sea
riding the waves as a tumbling weed

frosty coolness upon its wake
electrifying chill so sharp yet vague
ample time though it leaves behind
rarely enough to save the blind

for it brings great pain in its wake
eating its way from the heart be it jane or jake
an alterego to man or beast
reaping the courage with relative ease

following through to the end of the line
entering the realm of a dark divine
a purple haze, a foggy cloud
rocking the world inside out

finding its foothold in one and all
eldritch haunting overhaul
an overload of mental torture
roiling seas of despair in colour

feel it....
experience it....
and no matter what...
run not from it.....

to love...to live....to lust....

Love: An unselfish loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another
To love: To be unselfish and benevolent to another. To love is to sacrifice. To give without asking for anything in return. How many among us can truly do that? Could you? Could I?

My answer, is a definite NO.

To live, to be alive: have the life of an animal or plant. Well, we all have that. But is that all there is to living? Or is there something more?

Would living three quarters of your life at work be considered being alive?Some would say yes,some would say no.

And last but certainly not least,lust. An intense longing. Three things that we all feel. Three things we all experience. To give love: with the giving comes lust;the wish that that love, be returned. The wish that something be given. Once both is given, THEN does one truly feel alive. We search for someone to share in the loving. The longing. And the living.

We are drifters seeking solace from the sea from amongst other drifters. Friends, family or lovers,anyone who understands our predicament as well as we do. Some of us find someone. Some of us dont. With each choice we take, with each bridge we build, we give a meaning to our lives. One that makes it more than just a normal existance.

But for how long does it last? A year or two? Some of us manage to make it last a little longer...Then... It all begins to slow down to a crawl. The loving begins to become more muddled. Afterwards becoming less noticable. And the lusting begins to grow

Where once was more love, now exists a carpet of greediness and want. How many tales of such things have we all seen? But most of these stories end in happiness. Is that how it all goes in real life? Does it all end good?

Does love conquer lust? Can we overcome our own greedy emotions with love?

can we?......

on the road...

ever found yourself on a long ever-winding road to nowhere?....you continue on and on....yet you see no visible end to the journey....no matter how far ahead you look....the path just continues on and on.....winding up and down hill....around the corner or under the bridge.....it's just a never ending road....all around you, the land just rolls on by...ignoring you as you look on ahead for the end that never comes.....the finality that seems an infinite distance away.....but you keep looking ahead....hopefully in the distance, there may be the end that you seek....the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.....so you fixate your senses upon the road ahead....searching for that final destination....meanwhile....all around you.....the world rolls on by.....its natural wonders hidden within the blur that is the trail of your passing....the result of your fixation....what if.......at the end of the road.....you find nothing?......what if.....after your journey, you end up staring up at a dead end?.....looking down a cliff with no other way to go....no other avenue of escape....no house of gold awaiting its master.(namely you)......then you turn and look back up the road you've made your way through.....set your eyes upon the trail of beauty that you've ignored in your search for the beauty that was unseen to you in the first place.....THEN you start to think....."how could I have missed that?".......well....cycling has taught me that much.....if you never take the time to slow down and smell the roses...(or in the case of Singapore, car fumes)....you may never find yourself appreciating the God given wonders that already exist around us.......if we can't accept and appreciate the small gifts already given us, how will we learn to find satisfaction in the greater gifts and rewards awaiting us at the end of the line?......in the afterlife(if you believe it of course.....otherwise you may take it as in the near future if you wish it to be so)......so pause....search for that rose among the thorns.....appreciate the beauty hidden within the roots of trees....within the faces of leaves.....within the eyes of men...and the smiles of women....relish the embrace of the sun....lay your vision upon the light of the moon....tiny little facets of loveliness that will pile up into a mountain of gold....so slow down....take a stroll....ride on into the dark of night....alone...or with a friend....and while your out there...look around you....tell me what do you see....

the duality of life....

everything exists in pairs....this world...or as i've learnt to see it, this duality of existence....this temporary reality....much of it is wrapped in darkness and light.....or a mixture of both....wreathed in a gradient of wonder and temperamental beauty.....the contrast....the difference.....between the beautifully elegant as well as the notoriously ugly and menacing....the soft as well as the gross and harsh....it all exists in a balance of the weak and the strong.....the giving and the receiving.....the pushing and the pulling......we all live busying ourselves in work as we search for an avenue of escape to find for ourselves a better life.....a more....how shall i say it......valuable life.....some of us become singers....others writers.....yet others....lecturers....all that to what purpose?.....some, to satisfy their mental and social needs, others for money....and others still, for some other reason that only they could think of.....but at the end of it all, have we ever thought about what exactly is the REAL reason that hides behind those surface thoughts and emotions?.....there has to be an underlying current beneath the surface......an.....inner programming.......i've seen dozens of people who exist to please.....to satisfy the wishes of their significant others......in so doing also satisfying their need for something/someone to serve....they told me that it was like 2nd nature to them....like they'd been born to do that....like.....it felt right to do that....maybe it's the truth.....maybe they've found the 2nd half of the whole that was created when they were created......the 2nd half.....the anti-matter....but these relationships these people got themselves into.....generates also, another realm of existence.....one that has its ups and downs.....one that in its own right.....is another duality of existence....a duality of life......and further does the principals of cause and effect continue in its neverending cycle of positive and negative.......an everlasting change and rippling effect that continues on till the end of time......too bad we won't live to see how the continuity of the pairing up of life will be ended......God alone Knows....for great indeed is the wisdom of the Creator who's made us....may his blessings be upon us.....

burning up.....

burning up.....my head feels like a tonne of bricks....so heavy and dense it could just be a freakin mini black hole....just that it doesn't seem to be sucking up anything useful...it's just throbbing....and throbbing....and throbbing....well....at least my frontal lobe seems to be doing that....don't know bout the rest of my brain....can't seem to feel it for some reason...oh wait...i think i can sense it....the core of my brain....what do they call that thing again.....the larynx?....oh wait...no....it's the medula oblongata....i think...funky word....cute lil thingy feels like it's on fire right now....interesting eh?.....that a wet, red, pulsing little organ could feel like it's burning....the irony of it.....wet, and yet fiery......hmmmm......while on the topic of fire....must be a really hot week this is....first my stomach...now my head....perhaps i'm overheating......lack of sleep could kill you....but heck....the experience could prove a thought provoking and interesting one....if i could think of course....amid this red haze of a fever that i'm having, and struggling to avoid falling into peaceful void of sleep, i've had the rare moments of discovery....will tell you more in a bit...memory's getting a bit fuzzy at this point of time.....damn this headache.....cheerio :-D

the burning sensation that's in my stomach...

well yeah....there's something interesting about this.....i barely had any food today....and that, left a fine big chunk in my stomach....it was like hell in there...i could feel the amino acids chewing away at the walls of my stomach.....a constant reminder of the hunger....the depravation....and then it struck me like a tonne of bricks....this was nothing new...come to think of it.....i could call it something old.....this sinking burning feeling....the kinda feeling you'd probably get if you're a candle.....slowly burning your life away....a sick, feeling like you're slowly burning away....like....you're melting...oh, and that sound....that blubbablubbablubbing sound....that's just like me to complain about pain....even my stomach is doing it now...let's just hope nobody hears it....oh....but after thinking bout it for awhile in the bus....i came to a conclusion...a hungry stomach ain't half bad....makes for good company....it keeps reminding you of the importance of food....went to play pool....and yet....at the end of it....made up my mind that pool barely makes up for food...can't live forever on pool....but hell....i can't live a week without food....just goes to show that sometimes.....you're better off with the simple things....mr.tummy down there apparently thinks so.....

Me...

yeah...that's me there....the one on the left....no no...the left....right at the end there....ugly smiling freak of a monkey...thank god i love myself....

it all begins here....

ahhh.....to see the world in the light of darkness. it all looks so different. so.....tranquil....peaceful in its own dark eerie kinda way. I've always been amazed at how easily i get fearful in the dark. How jumpy i get when i'm stuck in a dark room...alone...(i may not admit to this in person. but that's the absolute truth.)...yet, when i close my eyes, and when i just keep quiet....when i keep still for a moment...i find that...it's peaceful...even more so than when i sit down at the beach. It's like....it brings out different feelings in me. sensations that i never knew had ever existed. oh wait...that's just the itch on my back...but besides that...well...sitting in the dark...(some might call it meditating.)...i discovered, that deep down inside...my heart's a raging storm.