Not a single day beyond the rest

Would that I could find my way home. That the path back were not clouded in mist. Would that death would not take so long. So that I'd not find myself lost in the hidden seconds and minutes.

Looking back in time long past,I find naught to talk about. Looking back on years gone by, I find much to think about.

Where am I? Where have I been? Who am I? What have I done?

Little questions with smaller answers. Deeds have brought me nowhere. Thoughts merely left me puzzled. Try as I might, there is no absolute answer. Memories, stories, remembrances and past references. Each experience builds upon me. My character a sum of all these lessons. 20 years.

20 years. All is a blur. Yesterday, two days back. None of it comes to me as a clear cut answer. All of it muddled together. Meshed into a pudding of mental pictorials and unspoken words.

Not a single day beyond the rest.

Where do I look to? If my memories I cannot trust. My past not even I can rely on. How do I sift through the truths of long ago; and rid myself of the lies of the mind?

When left and right becomes one, there is no moving forward. There is no looking behind.

That is how I've lost myself.