A Fool I Am...Just A Fool....

Thoughts. My thoughts. A hundred and one abstract concepts that run through my head like the gush of water from an open tap. All of them meaningless philosophies. Few of them even directly beneficial to my everyday life. So why do I think about these things?

The hidden meaning of life, reasons why things happen, words of wisdom and random bits of information that have little to do with myself. Why do I think about all these things? Trying to solve puzzles that need no solving. It's an addiction. But why do I do it?

Aren't I better off tackling the more urgent troubles in my life? Why do I not, instead, concentrate on the emotional trauma and mental distress that is really plaguing me? Am I just trying to escape from my problems by directing my attention onto other things? Am I just being a coward?

I had thought it wisdom to be asking these things. But really, am I seeking enlightenment, or behaving like the fool that I am? Wisdom is the search for knowledge to better understand and love life. Yet now, I feel absolutely no love for this life. No hatred, but no love either. Just an empty space.

Again I continue to digress my thoughts away from me. Has my insignificance made me unnoticable even to myself? Or perhaps, I'm searching for an antidote for the troubles that haunt me by looking out to my surroundings. Seeking solace in this little playground God has put me in. The very same place that has been the source of all my scars. Indeed I am a fool.